Put the mince pie down: How to stop putting on weight this Christmas

Question: Help me Grit Doctor, the Christmas nibbles are eating away at me and I’m going to be at least a stone heavier by 2017 if I don’t stop. I’m having a mince pie every day with a cup of tea. What is wrong with me? Tina

Answer: As Christmas seems to extend its reach each year, so do our waistlines. And it’s a double whammy because not only do we gain on average 6lbs over the festive period, but the winter weight gain is harder to shift.

I’m sure I was offered a mince pie back in October, but that might have been in a dream – a bad one. You see, I’ve trained my brain into believing that not only do I not like them – by bringing to mind a particularly poorly executed variety courtesy of my late grandmother circa 1990 – but that I am actually allergic to mince. Therein, Tina, lies my gritty solution to navigating the festive food minefield: you have to fake it to make it.

Because unless you want to spend the best part of 2017 undoing their damage, you have to say no to at least 50 per cent of festive snacks, and having a story about why you don’t eat them helps prevent well-meaning hosts repeatedly insisting them onto your plate.

Devils on horseback? I’m so sorry, but I can’t eat those. It’s Satan you see, he brings me out in hives. Angels on horseback? Oh dear, I’m allergic to angels, those wings do tickle my throat so. It’s all in the delivery which must be dead pan, dead serious. Then people won’t question the logic, they will put it down to Christmas stress having got the better of you, or think you’ve massively overdone it on the mulled wine, and will move swiftly on.

Tips

Choose savoury snacks over sweet.

Say no to Christmassy drinks, egg nog, mulled wine, and so on, which are loaded with calories and don’t hit the spot as well as a glass of Prosecco or a nip of gin anyway.

Try to stick to eating at meal times and, if at a canapé party, consider that your meal. Count the canapes, and stop at 10.

If you go for savoury pastry canapes, don’t follow them up with pudding. The pastry is the pudding.

And for the love of God, keep whatever exercise you do going throughout winter, and double it whenever you can. It will not just offset all the extra eating and physically keep you away from the mince pies, but will help to balance out hunger cravings and reduce stress levels. And Tina, as for that daily mince pie with your cup of tea? Your average supermarket mince pie is a whopping 250 calories, which adds up to 1,750 calories a week, which equates to roughly 2lbs weight gain by Christmas Day – all by itself.

The Grit Doctor says: Just say no to mince. Put the mince pie down.